Advice: Ignore.
The green leaves turned yellow. It did not rain for long. And when it did, I did not like it. The sun did not shine for long. Though later it did, but that was unacceptable as it was burning hot and I wanted the clouds. I knew the clouds would make it better. But the clouds never came. The birds didn't chirp. I don't know why. I always felt that they stopped chirping on seeing me. The beautiful green parrots never came by my balcony anymore. The moon didn't seem to smile when it looked down at me nor did I feel as if it was stalking me from behind the bushes, like a secret admirer.
I didn't sleep. I never felt like eating. Not even my favorite dish. I didn't feel like painting, not even writing. I didn't even want to sit and dream all day like I used to, when I was a little girl. I wanted no music. I did not want to remember God either. I didn't feel like staring at the night sky, the stars. I didn't like the breeze at the lakeside or through the door of the rushing train either. I was not interested in the games I would otherwise spend entire day playing. I did not feel like talking. Not even with my love.
I was living a monotone routine and I wanted to continue living like that only. I didn't even want a change. What I wanted seemed too far to even think of. I constantly felt as if the leaves won't turn green ever, it won't rain, the sun won't get soft and nor would the clouds come over softly without making it gloomy.
It seemed as if everything happened all of sudden. But no, it didn't. It rather was gradual. Too gradual. So adiabatic that I couldn't even notice the change coming. Now I feel that if I had noticed it, I might have either avoided it anyhow or learnt to adjust to it. But I couldn't do any of those. I was too blind to realize what was coming.
I wasn't unhappy all the time. I was happy too. But that was because I wanted to be happy. Not because I was actually happy. And now, I want to be actually happy like I was, when the leaves were green and the weather felt nice. But again, this is just wanting. I don't know if the actual reason will ever show up. Nobody knows that.
The green leaves turned yellow. It did not rain for long. And when it did, I did not like it. The sun did not shine for long. Though later it did, but that was unacceptable as it was burning hot and I wanted the clouds. I knew the clouds would make it better. But the clouds never came. The birds didn't chirp. I don't know why. I always felt that they stopped chirping on seeing me. The beautiful green parrots never came by my balcony anymore. The moon didn't seem to smile when it looked down at me nor did I feel as if it was stalking me from behind the bushes, like a secret admirer.
I didn't sleep. I never felt like eating. Not even my favorite dish. I didn't feel like painting, not even writing. I didn't even want to sit and dream all day like I used to, when I was a little girl. I wanted no music. I did not want to remember God either. I didn't feel like staring at the night sky, the stars. I didn't like the breeze at the lakeside or through the door of the rushing train either. I was not interested in the games I would otherwise spend entire day playing. I did not feel like talking. Not even with my love.
I was living a monotone routine and I wanted to continue living like that only. I didn't even want a change. What I wanted seemed too far to even think of. I constantly felt as if the leaves won't turn green ever, it won't rain, the sun won't get soft and nor would the clouds come over softly without making it gloomy.
It seemed as if everything happened all of sudden. But no, it didn't. It rather was gradual. Too gradual. So adiabatic that I couldn't even notice the change coming. Now I feel that if I had noticed it, I might have either avoided it anyhow or learnt to adjust to it. But I couldn't do any of those. I was too blind to realize what was coming.
I wasn't unhappy all the time. I was happy too. But that was because I wanted to be happy. Not because I was actually happy. And now, I want to be actually happy like I was, when the leaves were green and the weather felt nice. But again, this is just wanting. I don't know if the actual reason will ever show up. Nobody knows that.
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